Review book "The Happiness Trap"
About the book
Title : The Happiness Trap
Author : Russ Harris
Pages : 240 Pages
Hello everyone, so happy to meet you again in my blog 😄 Now , I want to share my review about book that entitled "The Hapinness Trap". You can see the cover book below!
The book is based on a growing body of scientific research that suggests we are all caught in a powerful psychological trap. And the book told that we lead our lives ruled by many unhelpful and inaccurate beliefs about happiness ideas widely accepted by society because ‘everyone knows they are true’. And it make a good sense for you, that’s why you encounter them again and again in nearly every self-help book you ever read. But these erroneous beliefs are both the cause of and the fuel for a vicious cycle, in which the more we try to find happiness, the more we suffer. And this psychological trap is so well hidden, we don’t even have a clue that we’re caught and controlled by it. That's the bad news.
The good news is there is hope. You can learn how to recognise the ‘happiness trap’ and, more importantly, you can learn how to climb out of it—and stay out. This book will give you all the skills and knowledge you need to do it. It’s based on a revolutionary new development in human psychology: a powerful model for change known as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). ACT (pronounced as the word ‘act’) was created in the United States of America by psychologist Steven Hayes, and was further developed by a number of his colleagues, including Kelly Wilson and Kirk Stroshal. The aim of ACT is to help you live a rich, full and meaningful life, while effectively handling the pain that inevitably comes your way. ACT achieves this through the use of six powerful principles, which are very different from the so-called commonsense strategies suggested in most self-help books.
Now, I'd like to review chapter 1 till chapter 9.
Part 1 How You Set Your Happiness Trap
Chapter 1 Fairytales
In this chapter, writer wanted to share a story for you that your life and your happiness not like a story in fairytales that always have happy ending in the end of the story. And writer also want to share one of four major myths that make up the basic blueprint for the happiness trap. Let’s take a look at these myths, one by one. The first myth is "Happiness Is The Natural State For All Human Beings". The second myth is "If You’re Not Happy, You’re Defective". The third myth is "To Create A Better Life, We Must Get Rid Of Negative Feelings". The fourth myth is "You Should Be Able To Control What You Think And Feel". These four powerful myths provide the basic blueprint for the happiness trap. They set us up for a struggle we can never win: the struggle against our own human nature. It is this struggle that builds the trap. In this book also there is The Illusion Of Control. The illusion of control explained how human minds has given us an enormous advantage as a species. It enables us to make plans, invent things, coordinate actions, analyse problems, share knowledge, learn from our experiences and imagine new futures. There is also about How We Learn About Control.
Chapter 2 Vicious Cycles
In this chapter, you will know about what is vicious cycles. Vicious cycles is a form from dissatisfaction feelings that appears of human mind. There are nine sign of vicious cycles. Fisrt, What’s Your Problem?. Whatever the problem is, it undoubtedly gives rise to unpleasant thoughts and feelings—and you’ve probably spent a lot of time and effort trying to escape them or blot them out. But suppose those attempts to get rid of your bad thoughts and feelings are actually lowering the quality of your life? In ACT we have a saying for this: ‘The solution is the problem'. Next, How Does A Solution Become A Problem?, The Problem With Control, Using Control Excessively, Trying To Use Control In Situations Where It Can’t Work, When Using Control Stops Us From Doing What We Value, How Much Control Do We Actually Have?, What Has Control Got To Do With The Happiness Trap?, How Do I Escape The Happiness Trap?.
Part 2 Transforming Your Inner World
Chapter 3 The Six Core Principles Of ACT
In this chapter, writer told about six core principles of ACT. First principle is Defusion. Defusion means relating to your thoughts in a new way, so they have much less impact and influence over you.second principle is Expansion. Expansion means making room for unpleasant feelings, sensations and urges, instead of trying to suppress them or push them away. The third principle is Connection. Connection means living in the present; focusing on and engaging fully in whatever you’re doing. Instead of dwelling on the past, or worrying about the future, you are deeply connected with what is happening right here, right now. The fourth principle is The Observing Self. The Observing Self is a powerful aspect of human consciousness, which has been largly ignored by western psychology until now. The fifth principle is Values. Values is an essential step for making life meaningful. The last is Commited action. Committed action: action that you take again, and again, and again, no ĺmatter how many times you fail, or go off track. So ‘committed action’is shorthand for ‘committed, effective, valued action’.
Chapter 4 The Great Storyteller
The great storyteller is Mind. Why? Because the mind loves telling stories; in fact, it never stops. All day, every day, it tells you stories about who you are, what you’re like, what you should be doing with your life, what other people think of you, what’s wrong with the world, what will happen in the future, what went wrong in the past, and so on. It’s like a radio that never stops broadcasting.
Chapter 5 True Blues
In ACT, whether a thought is true is not that important. Far more important is whether it’s helpful. Truthful or not, thoughts are nothing more than words. In the part of The Stories Never Stop, we can know that our mind never stop telling stories—not even when we’re asleep.In the part of Not Taking A Thought Seriously, we can know that we ought to bring our thought to mind a thought that normally upset you. And in part of Thanking Your Mind, you should to thank to your mind. This is a simple and effective defusion technique. When your mind starts coming up with those same old stories, simply thank it. You could say to yourself things like, ‘Thank you, Mind! How very informative!’ or ‘Thanks for sharing!’ or ‘Is that right? How fascinating!’ or simply, ‘Thanks, Mind!’. And another technique that will help you take your thoughts less seriously. Read through the instructions first and then give it a go. This is Thesilly voices Technique. This technique is particularly good with recurrent negative self-judgements. Find a thought that upsets or bothers you. Focus on the thought for ten seconds, believing it as much as possible. Notice how it affects you.
Chapter 6 Troubleshooting Defusion
Many of us, when we first encounter defusion, fall into the same trap as John; we start trying to use defusion as a control strategy. Remember: • A controlstrategy is any attempt to change, avoid or get rid of unwanted thoughts and feelings. • Controlstrategies are problematic when they are used excessively or in situations where they can’t work, or when using them reduces our quality of life in the long term. Defusion is the very opposite of a control strategy; it’s an acceptance strategy. In ACT, rather than attempting to change, avoid or get rid of unpleasant thoughts and feelings, our aim is to accept them. Acceptance doesn’t mean you have to like your uncomfortable thoughts and feelings; it just means you stop struggling with them. When you stop wasting your energy on trying to change, avoid or get rid of them, you can put that energy into something more useful instead. In part of how to use defusion, we can know how to use the defusion correctly. Defusion is not some clever way to control your feelings. It’s simply an acceptance technique. The point is, once you allow them to be there without a struggle, you can put your energy and attention into activities you value. But if you expect that defusing your thoughts will make them go away, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment; you’re falling back into the agenda of control—the happiness trap. The aimis to accept your thoughts, not to get rid of them.
Chapter 7 Look Who's Talking
ACT recognise two different parts of yourself: the ‘thinking self’ and the ‘observing self’. The thinking self is the part of you that thinks, plans, judges, compares, creates, imagines, visualises, analyses, remembers, day dreams and fantasises. The observing self is fundamentally different from the thinking self. The observing self doesn’t think; it is the part of you that is responsible for focus, attention and awareness. While it can observe or pay attention to your thoughts, it can’t produce them. Whereas the thinking self thinks about your experience, the observing self registers your experience directly. Defusion skills are essential for escaping the happiness trap. If you can see your thoughts for what they are—just words—and let them come and go without focusing on them, then you can put your time and energy into more important things, such as taking action to create the life you want. Your mind will never stop telling you unpleasant stories (at least, not for long)—that’s just what minds do. So let’s be realistic. The fact is, you will get hooked up and reeled in by these stories again and again. That’s the bad news. The good news is, you can make dramatic improvements. You can learn to get hooked much less often. You can learn to recognise much faster when you have been hooked, and you can learn to get much better at unhooking yourself! All these abilities will help to keep you out of the happiness trap.
Chapter 8 Scary Pictures
The defusion techniques we use with images are very similar to the ones we use with thoughts. Initially, we need to focus on these images in order to practise defusing them. But the ultimate aim is to be able to let these images come and go without giving them much attention at all. (It’s like having the television on in the background, without really watching it.) Defusion techniques help us to see these images for what they are: nothing more than colourful pictures. Once we recognise this, we can let them be there without fighting them, without judging them and without trying to avoid them. In other words, we can accept them. Acceptance means we no longer have to fear them. Acceptance means we no longer waste our precious energy on struggling with them. And ultimately, acceptance means we can focus on something more constructive. Defusing Unpleasant Images should do by you if you want to avoid from it.
Chapter 9 Demons On The Boat
On this chapter you will know about how demons affect you in every situations. There two news from it, bad and good news. The bad news is when we start focusing on your values and on taking action to change your life for the better, these demons are going to challenge you. And what I guarantee you is this: whatever meaningful changes you start to make in your life, those demons will rear their ugly heads and try to discourage you. And the good news is if you keep steering your ship toward shore (no matter how much the demons threaten you), many of them will realize they’re having no effect and will give up and leave you alone. And more importantly, you’ll find that you can let them hang around without being bothered by them. Furthermore, if you keep sailing towards that shore, you won’t just have demons for company; you’ll soon encounter angels and mermaids and dolphins.
I think its enough from now. I'm really sorry for all of mistakes that I've did.
